tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89795725115612867932024-03-05T18:41:31.916-08:00Kicking & Screaming My Way to HealthBridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-21358765038542032122012-09-19T07:00:00.000-07:002012-09-19T10:41:36.980-07:00soda addictionThere is some good conversation going on over here at Snack Girl (who I follow by the way).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCfFBIY1cGesb4SHv_uRP4mMXq0K103UvpzzS66KOTs3giGtvmr8p02Am_QDR_qB4BMxsn_6pE3rpT0fKhIxWCtDEa5lMTdVic9WF9XKrnkS0vzYKB6OVJFZv9eO3p2iSrWVzOoouv3myv/s1600/blog+snack+girl+logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hea="true" height="72" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCfFBIY1cGesb4SHv_uRP4mMXq0K103UvpzzS66KOTs3giGtvmr8p02Am_QDR_qB4BMxsn_6pE3rpT0fKhIxWCtDEa5lMTdVic9WF9XKrnkS0vzYKB6OVJFZv9eO3p2iSrWVzOoouv3myv/s320/blog+snack+girl+logo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.snack-girl.com/snack/how-quit-diet-coke/comments#comments" target="_blank">Why Quitting Diet Coke Is A Good Idea & Some Suggestions For How To Do It </a></h1>
Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-4890928657750676292012-09-17T19:00:00.000-07:002012-09-18T09:25:08.643-07:00sugar binge<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I binged on sugar this weekend.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am sad.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Thinking about why...</span><br />
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<li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">My husband purchased and brought this<br /><img border="0" hea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE5Fn64DtXXXqi55wyuc9JepNRnWQHCPC-Djr3T78tPQF3sn3ySzmU8z2U2_oZZI-3IeX7O5duBJEnVbaTDQNXLv6hPAHejMgfBICQ7d5CLPTvklf1sfTdqQNMRSC4G2Z1cGN_-9_n3_Rx/s1600/capt+crunch+3.jpg" /> </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">into the house. This is a man who just never buys sugar cereal! So I'm perplexed at his motives. Perhaps he was trying to be nice to the kids. Well, I am a recovering Cereal-Aholic. So, I had 4 bowls in 2 days and they were wonderful and crunchy and nutty and I enjoyed every last bite. <br />But then I didn't feel great and my tongue was sore and I now only wanted sugar. <br />You know how <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCAQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.imdb.com%2Ftitle%2Ftt0773262%2F&ei=JJ9YULK6FaT8iwK9kICIAw&usg=AFQjCNFawNqwD960sdz8zdKuqVCJLHuPvQ&sig2=2HkP-GgKxnsY9KWICz2QNQ" target="_blank">Dexter</a> talks about his dark passenger? Sugar is my dark passenger. She must be controlled.</span></li>
<li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I have not planned for success. I need to have good, satisfying food in the house and I have not done this. I live in the moment (part of my blue/<a href="http://www.colorcode.com/free_personality_test/" target="_blank">yellow personality</a>). This must change! I'm not sure why this particular step is so difficult for me. </span></li>
<li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">It was very (very) hot out so I really didn't want to go anywhere.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">So now, I'm getting back on the bandwagon. I have to go through a little of the sugar withdrawl again; and I'm weighing if that was worth the crunchy milky yum of the cereal. I'm not entirely sure it was.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Sometimes this journey has a step back. That is OK, as long as I keep moving forward again! </span></div>
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<em><span class="huge">I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.</span> Michael Jordan</em></div>
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<span class="huge"><em>Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill</em></span></div>
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<em><span class="huge">Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success. Dale Carnegie</span> </em></div>
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Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-41792817971050889342012-09-12T19:00:00.000-07:002012-09-12T19:00:02.651-07:00I never thought I’d do this<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I never thought I’d do this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have to say… I was not this person.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicObPBDwZwIS5fNN6gxO4L9Ul28Oba_LliAyr7tt2HMmLPgIomv3tNzWPRiieAvnwmKImkwoHNPrFtkflOMu3IoF2mKZMxfuAOl3uZi9NG-2b2VVmy95MVziFws-t-y-qFrWb9TuGx39Z3/s1600/blog+info+overload.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" hea="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicObPBDwZwIS5fNN6gxO4L9Ul28Oba_LliAyr7tt2HMmLPgIomv3tNzWPRiieAvnwmKImkwoHNPrFtkflOMu3IoF2mKZMxfuAOl3uZi9NG-2b2VVmy95MVziFws-t-y-qFrWb9TuGx39Z3/s200/blog+info+overload.jpg" width="187" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMJxxSVsC5F6snSVfT_Fx0lnXqButytQhqAPUfsBooPb-FD0eyk08ZWeqHbqFrNJtRL4EBjYCy1jA6FVDAce1KrfLPKnRMPSyUUvTODRjTXg4u7yno2dtzSy3LrMzn_K0ST6EV45e4f5uu/s1600/blog+junkfood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" hea="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMJxxSVsC5F6snSVfT_Fx0lnXqButytQhqAPUfsBooPb-FD0eyk08ZWeqHbqFrNJtRL4EBjYCy1jA6FVDAce1KrfLPKnRMPSyUUvTODRjTXg4u7yno2dtzSy3LrMzn_K0ST6EV45e4f5uu/s200/blog+junkfood.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I heard people say, “Oh Equal is poison, you really shouldn’t use it!” I thought, “Yeah, whatever!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there is a problem with this stuff it will happen to me because I use so much of it.” And went haughtily on my merry way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because honestly, if I listen to everything everyone says I would live in a bubble on air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The one issue with the internet is that there is so much information and much of it is contradictory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to learn to find information that resonates as true and be willing to vet the sources to confirm our facts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember the old warning “Anything that sounds too good to be true probably is.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(try teaching that to kids who start using the internet and are viewing these clever marketing ads tempting them to give information to win a non-existent prize.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am going off on a tangent there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was saying that I’m not this person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was the “I will eat what I want, when I want and as much as I want person. “ <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t ration myself or try to limit food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to eat protein with sugar so I didn’t get a headache, but still.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t exercise, I eat what I want, I have poor sleep habits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It does catch up with you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Perhaps pain and discomfort are the only thing some of us will listen to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I joke that God often needs a 2x4 to get my attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not because He needs to yell at me but because I force Him to that point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I keep pushing back and God cares enough to ride it out with me. (Thank you God!)</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKvbCNYHe4-L_REA54zQ6jtl5O2f6UhFlEg6nEOxxTTUN41wafQY-NyaR4NO-wLimF5EzAozHGrzRKChHLSqL6cqOo6g232wa6aLvc_0eTlkx2oRpXwyym-M2ECu21XAovAtxTwMDIx673/s1600/blog+advair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" hea="true" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKvbCNYHe4-L_REA54zQ6jtl5O2f6UhFlEg6nEOxxTTUN41wafQY-NyaR4NO-wLimF5EzAozHGrzRKChHLSqL6cqOo6g232wa6aLvc_0eTlkx2oRpXwyym-M2ECu21XAovAtxTwMDIx673/s200/blog+advair.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So… why am I changing? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had headaches every single day.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was on 2 asthma medications that were giving me bad side effects.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Including a 25lb weight gain and thrush.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you don’t know what thrush is; count yourself fortunate.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have no actual energy but I am hyper all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can’t focus.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m fat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was OK with this for a long time, but my weight hit a point where I was now physically uncomfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sitting in a restaurant, just being… I was aware of the weight and I was uncomfortable. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So that got my attention.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ultimately, this systemic candida outbreak was the clincher for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I read about it, I am overwhelmed by the information and the steps necessary to kill this tiny replicating demon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is subversive and evil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, the symptoms are bad enough that I was finally willing to make some of the bigger changes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">SUGAR<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMjQo0lwoVpgQ5b1RZfm0FyX6mQbFB66j5gSrs1FC0q_jJjGUm3sKd3wpPQsg46p2263zW4bqp0R-o9ZHy1QPgcBLPy2agrd4hM0OU3EadKZzl1Bk-2SsLbbRId7sKzEKebeDrublBQtAF/s1600/blog+no+coke.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" hea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMjQo0lwoVpgQ5b1RZfm0FyX6mQbFB66j5gSrs1FC0q_jJjGUm3sKd3wpPQsg46p2263zW4bqp0R-o9ZHy1QPgcBLPy2agrd4hM0OU3EadKZzl1Bk-2SsLbbRId7sKzEKebeDrublBQtAF/s1600/blog+no+coke.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve talked about what I’m giving up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the changes I’ve made. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Less sugar, lowering the amount in my coffee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Drinking more water.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Going on supplements.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Stopping soda.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">No longer drinking sugary drinks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">No dessert and candy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZwkO6gemhVCHXUPQopnUKegd9r6LqLsJmIJGT8sLWiGY_n6lBISpAgQp5qW9QRRHw3yWtVda7TaMYLdWWr0juo1yuuB6wWBMpPGeyvBnwfktgpdrNzB3XedAeYjiHFTIZ2sSnwiASiYDG/s1600/cheerleader.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZwkO6gemhVCHXUPQopnUKegd9r6LqLsJmIJGT8sLWiGY_n6lBISpAgQp5qW9QRRHw3yWtVda7TaMYLdWWr0juo1yuuB6wWBMpPGeyvBnwfktgpdrNzB3XedAeYjiHFTIZ2sSnwiASiYDG/s1600/cheerleader.gif" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My life that sounds miserable when I look back.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>I don’t feel miserable though!</strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel excited. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve made these changes slowly over a year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Taking on one thing at a time (sometimes several things, but I find that leads to failure pretty quickly).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been a one step forward, half a step back, 2 steps forward, 2 steps back… and so on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But at the end of this past year, I’m in a better place than I was and I’m only counting the progress. </span></div>
Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-42864539578923079222012-09-07T07:00:00.000-07:002012-09-07T08:29:04.253-07:00a little progress<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Why is it that progress makes me lazy!??</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">As soon as I lose some weight or get some good results, my first thought is, "Sigh, well now I can splurge a little because I accomplished something!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I realize this is part of the problem that got me here; to my unhealthy and overweight self. I need to learn a new way of "celebration" that feels like a reward! A friend of mine was cute; I weighed in on Tuesday and lost 3.7 lbs -- insert image of me jumping up and down (you'll have to use your imagination though because you'll not see that as a gif!). She wanted to reward my hard work, but didn't want to sabotage my progress, so she gave me...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8GdtthhEmvRHMKSuZNbanNRSUeAN0y202zfoPFfKM3x8BAZCMIXBm9ACXLNpganbhwAx3c6Xi_s1kayDfyqYMqxDJxiXbym8Nzqgbf45ImhsyPW0ZtL327p0exrzK866guuMMQPJyBxLO/s1600/colgate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" hea="true" height="66" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8GdtthhEmvRHMKSuZNbanNRSUeAN0y202zfoPFfKM3x8BAZCMIXBm9ACXLNpganbhwAx3c6Xi_s1kayDfyqYMqxDJxiXbym8Nzqgbf45ImhsyPW0ZtL327p0exrzK866guuMMQPJyBxLO/s200/colgate.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">a small tube of toothpaste. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> It made me smile!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I've been seriously watching the sugar intake. Down to 1 white sugar/day and have pretty much (still) stopped soda and now I've added dessert, candy, the ubiquitous deep fried evil that is called d o n u t s. I've not partaken in peanut m&ms or the various other candy stashed around our offices. I'm quite proud of myself! I am feeling better and I want more of this. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Now to kick the lazy reaction of success and let it be a motivator to try harder and see what else I can accomplish!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Do you do the same thing? Do you have a habit of rewarding yourself with food and what have you used as a substitution for that?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">(on a side note: I think spellcheck has perhaps made us all lazy about spelling. I'm old school and still feel the need to type every word in full in IM's and texts. I will occassionally use "U" instead of "you" but it does irk me. I want everything properly capitalized etc. So I challenge myself on my spelling. I'm happy to report (because I know you are waiting so axiously to hear) that this post had no mispellings!)</span></div>
Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-73725768417062437292012-09-03T17:30:00.000-07:002012-09-03T17:30:00.943-07:00checking in on my journey<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">To date, I've still not lost much weight.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">However, I have made some good changes.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">I stopped drinking soda -- which I really though I would hold on to much longer than I did.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">I went to iced tea for a while and while that was less sugar, I was still adding sugar.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">I had a few ice blended Mocha's from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and was pleased to learn they were too sweet for me and I requested less powder. Would never have considered that as a possibility for me before.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have to be very careful to maintain where I am. I cannot let myself look too far down the path to all that I should or may accomplish with this. (ie: going sugar and carb free) because ultimately, I don't really want to do that. I want to be healthy, but I already feel like I don't have so much to eat and I worry that a turkey sandwich (with or without bread) every day is going to get old. Then what will I do?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am trying to stick with what is right in front of me.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">Less sugar going for no sugar.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">More exercise (almost anything will count at this point.)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">I did notice that I am having a few fantasies about being really healthy and fit and feeling better and having a nice body. There is some fear involved, but I want to be more than what I am. (or less of what I am?)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">Looking forward to where I end up.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">Couldn't do it without the help I'm getting.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">Seriously, Enspirit Wellness in Lake Forest (hi Kaci!) have made such a positive and encouraging impact on my journey. I'm sure there is much I wouldn't have even considered without them. I am so grateful my insurance includes their services!</span><br />
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I amBridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-43926152112484331712012-08-30T22:34:00.001-07:002012-08-30T22:34:38.541-07:00i want sugar!<br />
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It’s 3:26pm and I WANT SUGAR! <u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I want a treat badly. I’m not physically satisfied.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I’ve had the habit of a sugary snack in the late afternoon for so long that I feel deprived now.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So, I broke down, because I’m not going home after work and have no other snacks, and had peanut butter on crackers (old fashioned pb, so less sugar, but still sugar) and good ole saltines.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I let myself get WAY too hungry – fail.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I need to prepare better for my day.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">No candy (although the pb crackers are as tasty as candy)<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is still progress!! I have to remember that.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm not turning to M&M, didn't eat a cookie (and the cafeteria makes them really yummy) and didn't eat any donuts! That was just today! Apparently Thursday's at work are very dangerous for somebody trying not to eat sugar.</span></span></div>
Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-55753339819550154352012-08-16T23:47:00.000-07:002012-08-16T23:47:29.502-07:00failure<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm getting frustrated because I don't seem to be able to commit to a new lifestyle. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I've made some progress. Things I never really thought I could change and I'm trying really hard to hold on to that! (very little dairy, no soda, less sugar, better snacks...at least most of the time) I give myself a round of applause for that.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I keep seeing people post online about their new distributor status where they're selling some health product (I notice a lot of protein shakes!) and they've either helped someone loose weight and here's a picture of how great they look (before and after pics of course) or how they just lost 5 lbs or 8 lbs and how they love eating healthy and how this snack of a handful of blueberries is so yummy. (I'm sorry, but still, a handful of blueberries is NOT satisfying to me.)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I had to stop following those links because it's depressing me. I don't know if I'm failing or if my journey is just <i>that different</i>. I kind of already know it's both. Not completely on the failure part, I have made some progress; just not enough. I'm just not motivated enough.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So this is the part where God might give me a little shove in the right direction because I've prayed for Him to help me be motivated. And that shove might be some kind of medical issue that basically requires I exercise -- shudder.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I just know exercise is the answer and yet I don't want to do it. I find it boring and I just plain don't want to do it! Yes, I know how juvenile that sounds and realize that at some point I am going to have to lift my lovely yet large derriere off the chair and go move it around. I wish there was some breakthrough I could have (other than perhaps a large 2x4 hitting me to get my attention) that would put me in the right frame of mind for such activity.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I guess I keep on trying.</span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-58466913837870634992012-08-08T17:00:00.000-07:002012-08-30T22:37:14.494-07:00the dreaded exercise<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Exorcise? (tee hee)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lord I dislike that word. I actually have a set of 15 minute exercise class video's I can do.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've done them once! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">FIFTEEN bloody minutes and I've done it ONCE!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have to find a way to convince myself.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm coming up against my own rebellion.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Against what I want now and what I want later.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now... eat and do what I want.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Later... be healthier and more active and hopefully happier in relationships.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">aaaahhhhhhhhhhh</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to go exercise!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">sigh</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OK</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">15 minutes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tomorrow! 15 minutes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Seriously. This is NOT HARD!</span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-6624440722465158932012-06-15T17:00:00.000-07:002012-06-15T17:00:02.405-07:00journey...and a battle<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m not a lifelong dieter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, if you could see me (and my weight) you might think to yourself “duh” but there it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve always believed that dieting doesn’t work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are fair, you will agree with me because all those dieters just keep going on and off diets and end up with 3 sets of clothing depending on the size they are today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have actually stayed mostly the same size for my adult life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was thinner before my first child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gave birth and within a year was down a size lower than I started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No diet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just youth and a part time waitressing gig that I think worked off all the weight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(sigh)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So good that I got pregnant again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m still trying to lose the baby weight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The joke is that my second child is 12 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have steadily added some pounds over the past several years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About 25 lbs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is a scary number.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe it is due partially to age and partially to the addition of steroids to control asthma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those things are killer!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I managed to get off the steroids (with the help of the magnificent Kaci-acupuncturist and herbologist) and lost 15 of those lbs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going to be brave here and tell you what I weight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>209!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For a short person, I carry it reasonably well (I stick with a large bust being a distraction), but still that’s way too high.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(another DUH)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So dieting doesn’t work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life change does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I am trying to do life change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Maybe I should name this entry DUH.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have always just eaten what I wanted to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never thought I was an emotional eater or had an eating disorder or anything like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <u>was</u> a PMS eater, but hey, who is going to mess with a woman with PMS and her chocolate?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So on this journey of what feels like denial… All. The. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve learned some things about myself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am an emotional eater.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have used food to reward myself for a very long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m grateful I’m not heavier than I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve learned that I am a broken person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps more broken than I realized or maybe just broken differently than I realized.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a very lonely marriage and I am now seeing that I fill that loneliness with sugar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So far, it’s worked pretty good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sugar makes me happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But aging, I’m seeing that I’m tired all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t feel good, all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a headache, all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as I search for ways to combat this, it turns out <u>everything is connected.</u><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">PCOS, Candida, Adrenal Fatigue, Mood Disorder, PMS, Thyroid Issues, Tiredness, Headaches, High Triglycerides, Allergies, Asthma</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I could go on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are all caused by each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are all the effects of each other. And guess what!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They all are made worse by sugar and diet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is quite honestly overwhelming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t realize how much I love sugar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How dependent on it I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Emotionally and physically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems like I can’t overcome this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that I’m going to give up, it’s just each step I make never seems enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At some point I am going to have to make some bigger commitments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I keep wanting to bargain with myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I realized the other day when I was trying to have a “fast” from sugar I suddenly thought about just eating whatever I wanted and it was a desire to really binge and I thought… wow!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where did that come from?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not really a binger (more a steady streamer).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart just breaks for people who live like that and are constantly struggling with binging food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also scared me because I certainly don’t want to be in a position where I enter another problem with food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s just what I need.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, just sharing what this journey is like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found a website about a woman’s plan for removing candida and she said something encouraging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About how she felt deprived for the first 6 months but is now feeling joyful and alive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The problem is looking past the step I’m on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a researcher, but when I research the people all say that you practically have to give up every food I eat, that even peanuts aren’t good for you or broccoli if it hasn’t been grown properly and it all just freaks me out and I think – I’m just not willing to live that way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, you hear growing hysteria in that last sentence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I come back and focus on today and this hour and what step I’m on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What can I do now?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s not just a journey…it’s a battle.</span></div>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-57587979141096531772012-06-01T23:54:00.000-07:002012-06-01T23:54:23.518-07:00this sucks<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, in an effort to remain honest about my journey (you know because I've really lacked candor thus far), I am here to tell you that this process officially.... sucks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know our society is consumed with weight. (ha, I laugh... consumed...weight...)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been a part of a fitness challenge at work and while I appreciate the $5 gift cards for just weighing in each week, the depression caused by these weigh ins may not be worth it. Up, down, up, down. I have been losing the same 5 lbs for most of this year. If you hadn't noticed, it's June 1st.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What isn't fair -- wait, I tell my kids all the time that life isn't fair and nobody promised it would be so I can't use that -- what sucks (much better) is that I have actually made some really major changes in my life that one would certainly believe should have an impact on driving my weight down.</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I have been getting vitamin infusions</strong> on a weekly basis pretty consistently since January. This has helped me keep from getting ill.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I have all but given up breakfast cereal as one of the main food groups in my life.</strong> This is a lifelong love affair with cereal. One that I sincerely never thought I would break.</span></li>
<li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I gave up soda. All of it. </strong>Now years ago, when I was in real estate, a bunch of co-workers started seeing a nutritionist and were told to cut out ONE DIET SODA A DAY. They lost weight! Did you read that? One lousy diet soda per say and they lost weight! So unfair. Oh wait, of course it is, life is unfair! sigh (by the way, that 21 day thing about not eating something for a certain amount of time and you no longer crave it... totally worked with soda for me. I don't crave it and now that I no longer drink it daily, I no longer love the taste.)</span></li>
<li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I have been working on reducing sugar intake</strong>. Now, I've also been horrified at how much sugar I actually eat so this one has been particularly hard. I am back to drinking more water and going with iced tea instead and on a path to drink it with like 1 or 0 sugars. </span></li>
<li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>No fast food.</strong> This was easy becuase I had already significantly reduced the whole fast food experience. After watching Food, Inc. I can't eat it anymore. The thought nauseates me.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">These are really big changes for me. Don't you agree that there should be some weight loss along with it?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I am smart enough to know that weight isn't the only issue. This is a process and being healthy is super important -- really more important than a number on a scale. I'm also human AND female. Fat chicks just aren't cool and as I work on my life and my marriage, I know this is an issue.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So you may be asking yourself if I have any insight into why this is happening. Thanks for asking, yes, I have some ideas.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There has been some major emotional turmoil in my life for the past year, maybe longer. This weighs heavily upon me and the details are really for another post... or another blog. I'm learning about the whole "emotional eating" thing. Emotions are powerful. While my intake has been reasonable (most of the time) the emotions put my body into stress that makes it want to prepare for disaster. I'll be reading up on this theory this weekend.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Emotional turmoil causes stress and has pretty much exhausted my adrenal glands. (more reading)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So all those quotes about being happy and choosing your attitude and such -- they have a lot of power but you need to own it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So here's to owning a happier me. If there is a way, I'm going to do it.</span></div>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-5074181510262081532012-04-30T22:15:00.000-07:002012-05-01T09:30:35.614-07:00stress is a killer<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I have been incredibly stressed the past few weeks. I was shocked when I lost weight last week at our weigh in. I doubt seriously that I will have lost this week. I "fell off the wagon" in eating and exercising this past week. It wasn't horrible (certainly nothing like how I might have eaten before I started this journey), but I'm not happy about it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I realize that making the wrong choice and feeling bad about it is part of this process. I can remember the next time how I feel afterwards and make better choices.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Still I am determined to focus on the positives (not to Susie Sunshine it all, but to keep myself from beating myself up -- because seriously, most of us do enough of this already!).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;">Positive:</span> still no soda for me. I had a few sips of a cup at an event and didn't drink the rest. YAY!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: magenta;">Positive:</span> was offered brownies and only ate half of a bite sized piece! YAY!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;">Positive:</span> I'm doing smoothies most morning and want a smoothie for lunch even. I would like to keep doing this more!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: yellow; color: black;">Caution:</span> I have fallen into cereal a bit. Not like I used to so there's my YAY! but cereal is an addiction that needs to be watched very carefully. Another YAY, it was Wheat Chex and Organic Granola with Berries not Capt'n Crunch. </span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>Goal: exercise 3x/week</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>Goal: consistency in supplements</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>Goal: 2-3 days/week, 2 smoothies/day -- I did this last week for 2 days and felt great! </strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I've also hit a big turning point in my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">As of 9:57p tonight I have no volunteer responsibilities!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am usually involved in something (kids school, church, friends, teaching, face painting -- something). My last responsibility ended tonight and I am free to work on just my job and my family and spend time with friends and enjoy myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Of course, I am already scheming on what other things I can do with all this down time (all this downtime, I crack myself up really)...but for at least a month, I will do nothing. Hopefull I'll make it to the end of the summer. That would be great!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Maybe I can go back to weekly massage and acupuncture! That makes a big difference and it would be great to do that again!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It's getting better all the time!!</span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-34740370322863879012012-04-25T22:38:00.002-07:002012-04-25T22:38:54.742-07:00good news / bad news<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Good news, I weighed in today with every expectation that I had gained weight. I'm even on my cycle (sorry for the TMI) but it's an even bigger deal that I actually LOST 1 LB because of that TMI. I'm so happy. It means that even with my failure to exercise this week all my cookie neglect paid off. I feel encouraged and excited that I may actually be doing this (not just able, but actively doing this).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The bad news is I am once again over committed and anxiety ridden and stressed because I've not left enough time to do some things and now I have to push myself to get it all complete. I truly hate when I do this and yet it's a pattern I see.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Why is there SO MUCH that needs fixing and I'm seeing all of it now? Is God focusing my "need to achieve" over commitment on myself? Where I'll be so busy with drawing closer to him to manage what is going on in my heart, head and body that there is no room for anything else?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Hmmmm</span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-51170249455484983262012-04-19T07:00:00.000-07:002012-04-19T07:00:04.879-07:00don't judge me<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I'll start by saying I sincerely doubt I could ever pull it off.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Not for a day, not for a week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Certainly not for multiple weeks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Not without a miraculously good attorney who wants to work for free to get me off for having killed someone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So with all those caveats...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am considering the HCG Diet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I just wanted to give voice to it so I can then tell myself what I really think which is that this is not for me and I don't even think it's the healthiest way to lose weight.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I just keep seeing people losing weight on it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So there.</span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-6013660550305386972012-04-18T18:00:00.000-07:002012-04-18T18:00:00.770-07:00week 1...again<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">At work we are having a "get fit challenge."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am a team leader and while I may not get fit myself, I will encourage my team to! (I actually will at least begin the process of getting fit.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We have several goals we are hoping to meet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">An overall goal (mine is to lose 15 lbs in 12 weeks)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Weekly goals: exercise, nutrition & sleep</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So I am down for:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">exercise 3x/week for 30 mins (think sweat!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">take my supplements 1-2x/day (week 1 only) & lower sugar intake</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">sleep 7 hours week 5 days</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I actually accomplished my exercise and sleep goals and most of my nutritional goals. I'll be powering those up more this next week.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Honestly, my biggest win is that I actually exercised 3x!!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV0TVtcXcMUBn752ozGki7ef1neEk_Qkn2GWnzoFczL-QXkfOskhaFHjcx2oyc5HqGSfuevq1Q-LWsM3KlGGqDW6UGv0b_O7qdXB9zJUnx2p58g96HW7do4Qi358v8HiPnIH2nJMzMFs5Z/s1600/Crack+Cookies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; height: 133px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; width: 177px;"><img border="0" height="171" qda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV0TVtcXcMUBn752ozGki7ef1neEk_Qkn2GWnzoFczL-QXkfOskhaFHjcx2oyc5HqGSfuevq1Q-LWsM3KlGGqDW6UGv0b_O7qdXB9zJUnx2p58g96HW7do4Qi358v8HiPnIH2nJMzMFs5Z/s200/Crack+Cookies.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">And that for 2 days running I've significantly reduced sugar and... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">and...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">2 days of what I affectionately call "Crack Cookies" (because you can't stop eating them) or<a href="http://finallytryingtogethealthy.blogspot.com/2012/04/deep-fried-evils-brother.html" target="_blank"> Deep Fried EVIL's Baked Brother</a> being available and I've NOT EATEN ANY!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">My goal this next week - mentally - is to stop thinking how I think and give myself a new perspective. Just because I weighed in today (up .2 lbs btw) does not mean I can celebrate/commiserate with Crack Cookies!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">This wasn't very humorous or interesting and I apologize.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Just remember...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I'll do anything to lose weight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Except eat right and exercise.</span></div>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-72055234948339960712012-04-16T18:00:00.000-07:002012-04-28T00:13:22.894-07:00deep fried EVIL's brother<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">IM from today....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">me: I think my mantra this week should be NO COOKIES</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">K: that's doable</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">K: remember: attainable goals</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">me: I'm not even hungry but those crack cookies are down there SINGING TO ME<br />me: wooing me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: calling me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: they have to be one of the best cookies ever</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">K: My sis likes the deep fried cakes of EVIL</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: that's what they are, deep fried cakes of EVIL</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">K: think of the cookies as the EVIL brother to the donuts<br />K: only baked</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: I used to not ever have them (deep fried cakes of EVIL), then slowly started partaking them again</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">K: not too big on the EVIL death cakes</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: same with french fries</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: though I find those easier to have just a few and stop</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">K: and they are soooo tasty</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">K: EVIL deep fried potato sticks</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: I'd honestly rather have "sweet potato's" (quotes because they are really yams. Yams = orange, sweet potato's = white, slightly yellow)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">K: silly</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: COOKIES SHUT UP!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">...later...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">K: are you working late tonight?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: what cookies?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: honest, I walked by and they JUMPED into my mouth</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: chased me even</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">me: Horror Movie Cookies</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">K: you are a baaaad girl</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">K: just remember, everyone usually dies in horror movies.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">stupid deep fried EVIL's baked brother</span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-21848849746397240412012-04-14T15:18:00.000-07:002012-04-14T15:18:00.129-07:00great smoothie recipe<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Protein in the morning -- gosh, just eating breakfast -- is huge.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I've watched what a difference eating protein for breakfast and those first few snacks (and lunch) really makes. The more protein and the less sugar I consume, the less sugar I want and the healthier I am.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I have been through several protein powders. The best tasting was HerbalLife's vanilla. However, it's soy based and I'm not supposed to have a lot of soy, so that's out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I'm now using a rice based protein powder to help with the cleanse. It's not great, but now that I have this smoothie recipe - it's actually pretty tasty!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">1 scoop protein powder </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">1/4 cup orange juice</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">1/2 cup water</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">1/2 cup ice (optional)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">1/2 frozen banana (be sure to peel before freezing)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">2 frozen strawberries</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">handful of blueberries</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">BLEND WELL</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Enjoy!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The OJ <u>makes</u> this recipe. I've had other smoothies using water and they were... icky and not to be repeated. If I am going to use a smoothie as a meal replacement, it should taste decent, don't you think? I don't want to live a life with icky tasting food and I don't think that is what is necessary to lose weight - though there will be some adjustment. (see sugar issues--Choc Choc Chip Haagen Daz anybody?)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The frozen fruit and addition of 1/2 banana also make it thick and not watery. I usually eyeball the ingredients. This makes about 12-13 oz. (I only know that because of the disposable coffee cup I use at work.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I have a blender at work. I bring a stash of frozen fruit and OJ in and replace as necessary. I also keep protein powder at work (as well as at home) because I'm terrible (terrible) at planning things for myself to eat and end up scarfing down copious amounts of peanut m&ms and other such evil because I've not eaten and now I'm famished! I close the kitchen door and blend away - it is fairly loud.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Years ago when I was doing HerbalLife, my friend used to blend 2 shakes for herself and bring one with her. She would keep it in a shaker and put it in the fridge. She said they were fine. So I'm sure that's another option.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">My next goal is to find a peanut butter smoothie recipe that won't be 1000 calories (see Jamba Juice Peanut Butter Smoothie for an unsettling experience).</span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-20451753646373621652012-04-13T15:05:00.004-07:002012-04-13T15:06:43.116-07:00not giving up<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I've been super busy with work lately and while I have much to say!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Got sick (again), however with the immunity IV I was able to schedule on day 1 of illness, I am bouncing back faster than ever.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Current plan of action:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">At work we have a Get Fit Challenge and I am a team captain. Goal to exercise 3x/week and (obviously) lose weight. There are cash incentives.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Trying to get back on and be really consistent with my supplements. Rather frustrated with myself for losing momentum as I will again have to go through the ramp up of not feeling well as they once again purge toxins from my body. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Looking into counseling and even hypnotherapy to help me with my (finally?) "admitting" I have a sugar addiction. (note the caveat's there... I am still holding on by my fingernails there.) Purchased additional supplements to help with cravings.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Always need to drink more water.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I am seeing that having a plan is really important. I want to post my goals. I've been to so many sales training and conferences and the one constant is writing down your goals and looking at your written goals daily. That is something many of the most successful people in the world do that others don't. Seeing as I struggle with ADD and focus -- this will hopefully help me remember why I am trying to get healthy.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Perhaps having these posted at home (and work) will help my family encourage me as well.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">So, I'm restarting myself today. </span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-32297164163973016952012-04-05T14:16:00.000-07:002012-04-05T14:16:45.925-07:00stress eating<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Part of this journey for me is learning more about myself. I have a lifelong habit of not thinking much about what I eat or when I eat it. Not being an over-eater in general, I felt for a long time that what I ate wasn't that important.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Wow, I can hear you saying "wrong!" Yes, I know what I eat is important. I used to be more concerned with my next chocolate fix and that was how I spent any time thinking about food. Life is changing for me and as I learn more about the why's and when's and feelings involved in food, I get better at managing my diet.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I am apparently quite stressed today. Woke up sick with a chest cold. I'm managing the cough well at this point but it really takes my energy away. I have so much to do and for the past two days it's been a whole page of added "To Do" for every item crossed off. It's just that time of year for me. I work late and my husband is the mom & dad for a few weeks until life settles down again.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">So, I want chocolate!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I even made (asked with pleading eyes) my coworker to open her pristine container of Trader Joe's Almond Roca so I could have some. It was delicious, but was gone so so quickly. Now I want ice cream! Now I want another cup of coffee! Now I want.....</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">So I saw this behavior today where I would normally only see it in hindsight. I asked, how am I feeling? Stressed. So what can I do to deal with the stress? I stopped for a moment and am now writing. I think this is more productive.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I'm taking some time to go back over my to do list and prioritize. What must be done today and what can wait.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I'm having a snack because I am probably hungry. Banana and old fashioned peanut butter.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I'm drinking water because it's always a good idea.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I'll let you know how I do. </span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-25052600895566431812012-03-29T17:30:00.000-07:002012-03-29T17:30:00.873-07:00evil<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So, this journey I'm on is both physical and spiritual...and mental.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I realize that I am in fact, quite rebellious. I sabbotage myself in thinking and give way to eating whatever I want. Especially during these past few weeks where I've been feeling so powerless because of all the evil I'm seeing in the world. I finally realized (thanks to Mom) part of my problem.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I've been believing a lie. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I have always loved the quote:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"All it takes for evil to exist is for good men to do nothing."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It's not actually true. At least not completely.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The lie is that we evil won't exist; but it will. Evil will always exist this side of heaven. Actually, I could probably say evil will always exist because hell is for eternity. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">That kind of takes the pressure off, at least for me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Do we have to stand up against evil? Yes. In our daily life and wherever we come in contact with it. We must fight or evil will take over.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I am looking at what evil I need to fight. I still get overwhelmed by the volume of causes and I don't want to spend so much time looking out that my own family is neglected in the name of fighting evil. That falls into the letting good get in the way of best. I want the best!</span><br />
<br />Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-89023566298222061112012-03-28T17:30:00.001-07:002012-03-28T17:30:00.877-07:00lost weight<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I've been on Weight Watchers for 10 weeks (11 weeks?) and have lost the same 3 lbs several times. I am terrible at tracking because it's laborious for me, but I do think that it's all a good idea. Will I continue when they are done? I'm not sure, but weighing in each week sure does keep you honest! Maybe I should get a scale for my bathroom.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Still, after a women's retreat weekend including a chocolate fountain... I still lost (though a small amount - we are celebrating all victory at this point).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am encouraged to push forward. One of my fellow WW gals has lost 9lbs and that is pretty exciting. So I want to try harder and stop allowing myself to languish in the same place I've been for years -- eating whatever I want without regard to the consequences.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What does this mean?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It means I need to PLAN AHEAD!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This can ultimately be good. If we do this as a family, it could be a nice healthy thing we all do together! All make lunch for the next day. It could be nice.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Right now though, my house is a disaster. I need to pull the carpet up because after a dog who pee'd everywhere (he lives someplace else now) and a cat who is following suit -- it smells and I don't think any cleaning is going to help it. I've always thought carpet in a main house with children is just silly anyway. I just don't want it to look stupid if I pull it all up. I get so easily overwhelmed by all there is to do. My cleaning lady quit (she actually just stopped coming and I even tipped her weekly). I have somebody else now, but I'm embarrassed. I know I need help but part of me feels like I really need to do this myself. I haven't felt that way before so is this something I'm supposed to do on my own? Why does life have to be so hard (and these aren't even real problems in the scheme of life)?!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So, one step at a time. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Goals this week:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Get downstairs clean.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Pull up carpet in dining room -- how can I cut it? Will have to look into this.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Make lunch once.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Bring shake stuff in to work so I have it to eat there. :)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I had another goal and I accomplished it today. I've been putting off making an appointment with another dermatologist for my daughter and I did that today. I set an appointment on my cell and that made a difference. I just need something to remind me. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I have to find ways to get around myself to remember it all!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">-----</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My pregnant kitty is making a lot of noise. I wonder if she's going into labor. Sigh. I want to be here when she is just in case, but the chances are slim that I will be.</span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-73978388885442525662012-03-28T17:00:00.000-07:002012-03-28T17:00:01.140-07:00be strong and courageous<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">today's prayer:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><em>(OK, it's yesterday's prayer but I missed yesterday so I'm doing this one)</em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Deuteronomy 30:1</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"><div align="left">
Pray this verse in your own life. Where is God asking you to go? Be strong and courageous.</div>
<div align="left">
<br /></div>
<div align="left">
<strong>What I hear/see:</strong></div>
<div align="left">
<br /></div>
<div align="left">
<strong>Strong:</strong> </div>
<div align="left">
Make good eating choices.</div>
<div align="left">
Resist temptation to eat the wrong things or to not be active.</div>
<div align="left">
Not allow myself to get distracted and thus waste my time but allow my time to be used wisely. </div>
<div align="left">
Do something constructive daily on my home -- even when I don't feel like it.</div>
<div align="left">
<br /></div>
<div align="left">
<strong>Courageous: </strong></div>
<div align="left">
Believe that with God's help, things can and will change. </div>
<div align="left">
Not give up or allow discouragement to gain a foothold. </div>
<div align="left">
Trust that God will redeem my marriage and home.</div>
<div align="left">
<br /></div>
<div align="left">
I want to start DREAMING and following and praying about those dreams. I don't think I realized I wasn't dreaming before. I'm still not "feeling" it like I used to. I used to be super emotional about things and this time I'm not. Interesting.</div>
</span></span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-77824295934330366612012-03-27T22:43:00.001-07:002012-03-27T22:44:29.752-07:00first day<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is the first day of the rest of my life.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OK, every day really is the first day.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today I am taking a step forward in my faith and in my life.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This past retreat weekend I made some changes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I realized I stepped away from God for a while.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been very discouraged.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Trying to make my marriage and my family work.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Trying to have a marriage that isn't in separate rooms all the time. Where my husband doesn't want to hide in his man cave but be a part of what's going on. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Trying to be the person I see inside of me but never seem to produce.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So Lord, here we go. I can see that while I trust in you, I've still been trying awfully hard to do all this in my own strength. It needs to be Your strength because I think it's pretty obvious, I haven't done so well.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-1084619270347003692012-03-26T12:45:00.001-07:002012-03-26T12:46:24.219-07:00places to travel<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><em>I don't often post or forward things received via email. They have to give me some sense of pleasure to be shared. This one kind of did and since these are all places I've been I am sharing...</em></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.</span> <br /></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.<br /><br />I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.<br /><br />I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">friends, family and work</span>.<br /><br />I like to go to Conclusions...you have to jump, and I'm into physical activity these days.<br /><br />I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.<br /><br />I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.<br /><br />Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.<br /><br />One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!<br /><br />I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing.<br /><br />----<br />Life is too short for negative drama and petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!</span></span></div>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-71463283326251009702012-03-25T22:52:00.003-07:002012-03-25T22:52:36.212-07:00retreat<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I went on a women's retreat this past weekend. It was needed. I struggled part of the time; like many of us, I struggle with feeling "good enough" or "liked." I'm not consumed with it or anything, but we have those vulnerable times when we're more aware of our own social issues.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">On top of that, I was preparing something as part of the retreat and we didn't end up having enough for everyone. That way stressed me out. As did another snafu that I was a part of so my retreat started off with a lot of beating myself up because I was a arty to things not being perfect. Not that anyone knew tings weren't perfect, so really it wasn't such a huge deal.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Still.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I don't like to let people down. I don't like that I was counted on to do something and for whatever reasons it didn't happen. I already worry that my loud personality overshadows things sometimes. It made me feel small. I don't want leadership at my church to think they cannot trust me and that's exactly how I felt.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I was able to work through most of it by Sunday. Part of what helped was the teaching on Saturday. It was really good. Am I willing to submit myself to God and allow Him to make my path straight? Am I willing to lean on HIS understanding and not my own? I found that I have become stagnant in my faith and this has caused me many problems. I'll now have to keep an eye on myself to ensure I don't hold it all back for me to do again. That idea of self sufficiency is a toughy!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I have so much to say that I become blocked. I will try to write more. It makes a difference in my life.</span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8979572511561286793.post-6503246339576760932012-03-04T00:49:00.000-08:002012-03-26T12:47:11.675-07:00conspiracy theory<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">Along with the other things going on in my life, I've had this underlying concern or worry about my faith. I had some people praying for me (thank you- you know who you are) and today I've had some insight into what is going on.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">I think it goes back to having watched <a href="http://www.takepart.com/foodinc" target="_blank">"Food Inc.</a>" The movie itself has nothing to do with religion or faith. What hit me was the obvious "conspiracy," for lack of a better word, regarding food production and methods used. In general, I am not one who believes in conspiracy theories. I don't believe people can keep a secret. What's the joke, the only way a secret can stay a secret between two people is if one of them is dead. I fall into that camp. Even the remote viewing as an actual military attempt into psychic wars was not just discussed on Coast to Coast -- but made into a movie with major stars (Men Who Stare At Goats with Clooney and some other guy whose name escapes me currently). I personally found the movie quiet hysterical, but that could be that I've heard the stories of the guy who supposedly started the whole thing. (I still whole heartily recommend the movie!)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">In Food Inc you see how we've basically been very slowly separated from the source of our food and left with images from another era (happy cows on happy farms kind of thing). But business wants to earn more money and people want cheaper food and thus spawns a change in industry that cares less for the conditions of the animals being raised for food and more about squeezing another dollar out of the industry. Genetic modification comes in, hormones are introduces, etc. We've all heard about or seen evidence of these things. We've heard (and mostly closed our ears to) the horror stories those "greenies" tried to tell us about. I think the perspective of this movie being fairly low key and still painfully poignant makes it hit home all the more. If it were some ranting, screaming, protest I would find it much easier to dismiss the information given. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">This movie made me realize conspiracies can be real. That ultimately rocked me pretty hard. Harder than I realized. It opened up the problem of evil to me in a way that I've never experienced it. I care about animals. there is something that really speaks to me about God in the animals He created. The love the domesticated give, the food the farm animals give, the beauty and ability of the wild. I think of Adam naming them all and God giving man dominion over all the earth. And the cruelty that we have allowed to occur -- that I have allowed to occur -- stuns me. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">So, I started shopping at Whole Foods. I want to "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.humanesociety.org/forms/eating_mercifully_dvd_christianity_today.html#Watch%20the%20trailer">eat mercifully</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">" as the Humane Society puts it. It's the idea that the animals that give their life for my nutrition should not be treated cruelly, but live in a healthy environment until "that day" comes. I think about how the poor living conditions must effect the quality of the meat and what else might be a part of it. Sin has an impact on us. Cruelty is sinful. Even if I don't know about it, it has an impact. My world view is such that I think sin is ultimately the cause for so much of what is wrong in the world. Greed, power hunger, selfishness, pride -- we see them everywhere. People doing things because it's expedient or will give them a gain regardless of who else it might effect. I believe that is how disease has spread even to the point of birth defects and homosexuality. I think our world breeds the effects of sin until someone is willing to stand up and stop the link. We have many major historical figures who saw horror in their lives that had to be stopped. Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King stood up to slavery. America & England stood up to Hitler. There has been so much evil in generations past and perhaps I've just had my head in the sand and the reality of the evil in today's world has really it me hard. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">If you've not seen the movie, it's not just about animals being treated cruelly (and disgustingly), it's about the people whose lives have been ruined when they won't participate in it. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">My life, it's such an allegory to the end times and those crazy 70's movies about what it's going to be like. Almost down to the people being led to a guillotine because they refuse to renounce Christ and worship</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rack_Shack_and_Benny">'the bunny</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">" (sorry, little Veggie Tales humor there).</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">I started to say that I now shop Whole Foods and try to buy organic food. But that's not enough. It's not enough because organic isn't always. To be organic, some pretty small standards have to be met. (see:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organic_certification">Manipulation of regulations towards the bottom of this link</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">) So the problem is our government and the lobbyists who convince the government that the rules shouldn't really apply to them. The idea of having an organic label is to allow people like me to</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">I'll end on a funny note: If you've never seen Portlandia is it pretty funny. I can't take it in large doses but I totally laugh.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2LBICPEK6w"> This is a clip from their first episode about organic food.</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>Bridgette Bealhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04205295890883578677noreply@blogger.com0