Kicking & Screaming My Way to Health: new beginnings

Showing posts with label new beginnings. Show all posts

I never thought I’d do this

I never thought I’d do this.

I have to say… I was not this person.

When I heard people say, “Oh Equal is poison, you really shouldn’t use it!” I thought, “Yeah, whatever! If there is a problem with this stuff it will happen to me because I use so much of it.” And went haughtily on my merry way. Because honestly, if I listen to everything everyone says I would live in a bubble on air. The one issue with the internet is that there is so much information and much of it is contradictory. We need to learn to find information that resonates as true and be willing to vet the sources to confirm our facts. Remember the old warning “Anything that sounds too good to be true probably is.” (try teaching that to kids who start using the internet and are viewing these clever marketing ads tempting them to give information to win a non-existent prize.

I am going off on a tangent there.

I was saying that I’m not this person. I was the “I will eat what I want, when I want and as much as I want person. “ I didn’t ration myself or try to limit food. I tried to eat protein with sugar so I didn’t get a headache, but still.

I don’t exercise, I eat what I want, I have poor sleep habits.

It does catch up with you.

Perhaps pain and discomfort are the only thing some of us will listen to. I joke that God often needs a 2x4 to get my attention. Not because He needs to yell at me but because I force Him to that point. I keep pushing back and God cares enough to ride it out with me. (Thank you God!)

So… why am I changing?

I had headaches every single day.
I was on 2 asthma medications that were giving me bad side effects. (Including a 25lb weight gain and thrush. If you don’t know what thrush is; count yourself fortunate.)
I have no actual energy but I am hyper all the time.
I can’t focus.
I’m fat. I was OK with this for a long time, but my weight hit a point where I was now physically uncomfortable. Sitting in a restaurant, just being… I was aware of the weight and I was uncomfortable. So that got my attention.
Ultimately, this systemic candida outbreak was the clincher for me. As I read about it, I am overwhelmed by the information and the steps necessary to kill this tiny replicating demon. It is subversive and evil. However, the symptoms are bad enough that I was finally willing to make some of the bigger changes.

SUGAR

I’ve talked about what I’m giving up. Some of the changes I’ve made.

· Less sugar, lowering the amount in my coffee.

· Drinking more water.

· Going on supplements.

· Stopping soda.

· No longer drinking sugary drinks.

· No dessert and candy.

My life that sounds miserable when I look back.

I don’t feel miserable though! I feel excited.

I’ve made these changes slowly over a year. Taking on one thing at a time (sometimes several things, but I find that leads to failure pretty quickly). It’s been a one step forward, half a step back, 2 steps forward, 2 steps back… and so on. But at the end of this past year, I’m in a better place than I was and I’m only counting the progress.

first day

This is the first day of the rest of my life.
OK, every day really is the first day.
Today I am taking a step forward in my faith and in my life.
This past retreat weekend I made some changes.

I realized I stepped away from God for a while.
I've been very discouraged.

Trying to make my marriage and my family work.
Trying to have a marriage that isn't in separate rooms all the time. Where my husband doesn't want to hide in his man cave but be a part of what's going on.

Trying to be the person I see inside of me but never seem to produce.

So Lord, here we go. I can see that while I trust in you, I've still been trying awfully hard to do all this in my own strength. It needs to be Your strength because I think it's pretty obvious, I haven't done so well.