wanting

This is hard.  Harder? Hard.
Keeping myself on track, eating what is right.  I think that I stepped back a week or two ago and have been coasting.  Picking one or two things to make a difference and not embracing more of the changes I need to make.

I dislike wanting.
I don't like wanting sugar, which ultimately is my issue.
Nobody will ever accuse me of having too much self control.

I don't want to give up though.  That would be a tragedy!  I've begun and I have some momentum going.  I can push forward and make more progress. 

I'm afraid to weigh in on Tuesday.  Part of me wants to fast for two days just to have a good weigh in.  However, I note my previous comment about self control and fasting certainly comes under the heading of self control. So, perhaps my goal will be to take to each day and make the best of it.  Take tomorrow morning, get up and have breakfast.  Eat a good snack.  Keep the water flowing and do some exercise!  It's not a big list of "To Do's" really.  Maybe there is some deep dark undiscovered reason why I don't want to.  I haven't hit it yet.  Ultimately I think it is just that I don't want to.  I have lived for decades without any restrictions on myself in behavior and now that I seek to add restrictions... I am balking.  It's plain, old fashioned stubbornness and a very serious case of the "I don't want to's."

So, I will do what I always do when faced with a problem bigger than myself.  I will pray.  I will ask for prayer and I will attempt to keep practicing the good behavior I know about.

I keep telling myself it's a journey, but I think it's time I laced my shoes a little tighter and made some progress.

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