Part of this journey for me is learning more about myself.  I have a lifelong habit of not thinking much about what I eat or when I eat it.  Not being an over-eater in general, I felt for a long time that what I ate wasn't that important.

Wow, I can hear you saying "wrong!"  Yes, I know what I eat is important.  I used to be more concerned with my next chocolate fix and that was how I spent any time thinking about food.  Life is changing for me and as I learn more about the why's and when's and feelings involved in food, I get better at managing my diet.

I am apparently quite stressed today.  Woke up sick with a chest cold.  I'm managing the cough well at this point but it really takes my energy away.  I have so much to do and for the past two days it's been a whole page of added "To Do" for every item crossed off.  It's just that time of year for me.  I work late and my husband is the mom & dad for a few weeks until life settles down again.

So, I want chocolate!
I even made (asked with pleading eyes) my coworker to open her pristine container of Trader Joe's Almond Roca so I could have some.  It was delicious, but was gone so so quickly.  Now I want ice cream!  Now I want another cup of coffee!  Now I want.....

So I saw this behavior today where I would normally only see it in hindsight.  I asked, how am I feeling?  Stressed.  So what can I do to deal with the stress?  I stopped for a moment and am now writing.  I think this is more productive.

I'm taking some time to go back over my to do list and prioritize.  What must be done today and what can wait.

I'm having a snack because I am probably hungry.  Banana and old fashioned peanut butter.

I'm drinking water because it's always a good idea.

I'll let you know how I do.

Women have a special relationship with chocolate.

There is the desire to eat chocolate, which is an ongoing state.
Then there is the don't even think about touching my chocolate because I'm going to eat all of that state of being which is experienced less frequently.

I recently experienced that latter.  All I could think about was chocolate.  What I really wanted was Hot Fudge Cake a'la Bob's Big Boy (which I learned today actually closed, so I will need to wear black and go into mourning).  There were no Bob's near us.

I ventured into the IE (Inland Empire) on Friday with a friend to attend a home Bible study (which was actually pretty good).  After, I just had to satisfy my desire for chocolate.  We drove around for an appropriate location.  Got excited about a Dairy Queen (that is shown on a map but also shows as permanently closed -- um, why even list it if it no longer exists?).  Considered Cheesecake Factory then landed at a Carrows; but had to leave before even making it to the front door after watching a police helicoptor hover overhead with it's spotlight going and hearing them from the speakers say "If you cooperate, no one will get hurt."  My friend Sher walked straight back to the car and yelled for me to open the doors and get going so we could head back to the safety of the OC.

We finally landed at the Elephant Bar.  Restaurant closed, bar open.

I'm not really a bar person.  I tried to be cool and sit there with the music blasting and act like it was all ok and I could still have a conversation, but I couldn't pull it off.  Before we even ordered, I asked to leave.  I now understand why I like Denny's for a cup of coffee and a chat.  It's consistently reasonably quiet. 

Sher talked the hostess into finding us a spot in the restaurant despite it being closed.  We split lettuc wraps and a huge ice cream sandwich with a side of hot fudge.  It was so good.  Honestly looking back, they could have brought me a ramikin of hot fudge and some whipped cream and I'd have been perfectly happy. 

I ate half the dessert.