this sucks

So, in an effort to remain honest about my journey (you know because I've really lacked candor thus far), I am here to tell you that this process officially.... sucks.

I know our society is consumed with weight. (ha, I laugh... consumed...weight...)

I've been a part of a fitness challenge at work and while I appreciate the $5 gift cards for just weighing in each week, the depression caused by these weigh ins may not be worth it.  Up, down, up, down.  I have been losing the same 5 lbs for most of this year.  If you hadn't noticed, it's June 1st.

What isn't fair -- wait, I tell my kids all the time that life isn't fair and nobody promised it would be so I can't use that -- what sucks (much better) is that I have actually made some really major changes in my life that one would certainly believe should have an impact on driving my weight down.

  1. I have been getting vitamin infusions on a weekly basis pretty consistently since January.  This has helped me keep from getting ill.
  2. I have all but given up breakfast cereal as one of the main food groups in my life.  This is a lifelong love affair with cereal.  One that I sincerely never thought I would break.
  3. I gave up soda.  All of it.  Now years ago, when I was in real estate, a bunch of co-workers started seeing a nutritionist and were told to cut out ONE DIET SODA A DAY.  They lost weight!  Did you read that?  One lousy diet soda per say and they lost weight!  So unfair.  Oh wait, of course it is, life is unfair!  sigh  (by the way, that 21 day thing about not eating something for a certain amount of time and you no longer crave it... totally worked with soda for me.  I don't crave it and now that I no longer drink it daily, I no longer love the taste.)
  4. I have been working on reducing sugar intake.  Now, I've also been horrified at how much sugar I actually eat so this one has been particularly hard.  I am back to drinking more water and going with iced tea instead and on a path to drink it with like 1 or 0 sugars. 
  5. No fast food.  This was easy becuase I had already significantly reduced the whole fast food experience.  After watching Food, Inc. I can't eat it anymore.  The thought nauseates me.
These are really big changes for me.  Don't you agree that there should be some weight loss along with it?

Now, I am smart enough to know that weight isn't the only issue.  This is a process and being healthy is super important -- really more important than a number on a scale.  I'm also human AND female.  Fat chicks just aren't cool and as I work on my life and my marriage, I know this is an issue.

So you may be asking yourself if I have any insight into why this is happening.  Thanks for asking, yes, I have some ideas.

There has been some major emotional turmoil in my life for the past year, maybe longer.  This weighs heavily upon me and the details are really for another post... or another blog.  I'm learning about the whole "emotional eating" thing.  Emotions are powerful.  While my intake has been reasonable (most of the time) the emotions put my body into stress that makes it want to prepare for disaster.  I'll be reading up on this theory this weekend.

Emotional turmoil causes stress and has pretty much exhausted my adrenal glands.  (more reading)
So all those quotes about being happy and choosing your attitude and such -- they have a lot of power but you need to own it.

So here's to owning a happier me.  If there is a way, I'm going to do it.


Post a Comment